I typically enjoy my scenery while at the gym; both the attractive women and the fat and/or ugly people sweating so voluminously. For the most part, I just generally enjoy people watching while I run on my hamster wheel. Take notice that I did not ever say that I enjoy people smelling. I understand that people will not be at the freshest while working out and burning those thousands of calories which were consumed while eating the Burger King Quad or pretty much anything from McDonald's.
Now my dearest fat bastard, I understand that you probably have a rather difficult life which probably amounts to watching child pornography, collecting empty toilet paper rolls, eating 11 meals a day and beating your 3 cats. I encourage you to continue getting out of the house and trying to lose some of the excess 450 pounds which you carry around like a second mortgage. The part that I refuse to accept is your disgustingly rank odor.
A few weeks ago I jumped on the only available treadmill, I was rather curious why there was actually an open treadmill being that it was peak gym time. I almost immediately regretted my decision to run. It first started off like typical body odor of a person who was really working hard at the gym. But then I realized you were covered with sweat as the treadmill read 2.0 mph and 6 minutes of working out. Within seconds the odor because so bad that it began to burn my throat. I felt like I was sandwiched between a rotting corpse and a used diaphragm of Paris Hilton. For a few seconds I actually believe I lost consciousness, only to suddenly regain it whenever you lifted your arms to stretch out. Once again I commend your efforts in trying to lose weight, but in doing that you are killing people around you. You are part of the reason the ozone layer is deteriorating and the Antarctic glaciers are melting. Your odor killed JonBenet Ramsey and Nicole Brown Simpson. If we sent your stank ass to Iraq people would stop fighting, IT'S THAT BAD. Please do us all a favor and smell yourself prior to entering public. If your nose explodes or jumps off your face, you still stink.
Sincerely,
Everyone
1 comment:
Hmmm another fine piece of work there Moles. Although I find it troubling you are making fun of overweight people who are trying to make a difference in their lives by attending the gym. Do you have any idea how embarrasing it would be to be around all those skinny people knowing they are all disgusted by you? I, for example.. am not fat by any means and I don't even have the courage to go to a gym. I don't know how you do it with your 7 month old beer hell spawn occupying your womb.. But back to the point, these people are fat, they know this, they are gross, they know this too, but they are hoping to better themselves by enduring humiliation at the gym for however long each day. Instead of jeering at these poor helpless souls you should be cheering them on Nicholas.. you should be there to give them water when they are thirsty and wipe the sweat from their asses.
Don't act like you didn't already see it this way. I win.
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